What to do to be happy in love?
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Hello, I’m Christopher, welcome to my channel.
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All we desperately seek is a formula for how to be happy in love. But I confess that I don’t really like this thing of tricks, secrets and magic formulas, because I don’t believe in miracles in this way, but in those conquered by ourselves.
Miraculous solutions may even operate in some way, promoting certain changes, but their effectiveness and sustainability — both in terms of intensity and time — generally do not happen.
Therefore, I believe that the great trick or formula for achieving happiness in the affective life is not different from the secret of success in other areas of life: practice and discipline.
Two other characteristics, perhaps the most important, join them: patience and perseverance.
It’s usually easier to understand how these skills can help us succeed in material life, but how can they become the key to emotional happiness?
Today we live a concept of happiness that is very attached to what is outside of us. We are always very conditioned to something or someone, which defines whether we are going to be sad or happy.
In fact, there’s no way the world can’t influence feelings. And having a harmonious affective life does contribute to the feeling of fullness. But that’s different from always being at the mercy of what’s out there.
Affective satisfaction is something very different from filling a void and a need for someone.
We think dissatisfaction exists because we don’t have a partner who can make our dreams come true, no matter how humble we are. We tend to think: “I just want someone with whom I can share my life and be happy, that’s not asking too much. It’s so simple…”.
But is it really that simple? The answer is yes and no.
Finding love can be simple if we think that when we are more balanced and harmonious in our self-esteem and personal power, we can indeed find what we are looking for.
But it becomes complicated when we don’t want to or don’t propose to do our part and we think that it would still be easy to find the loving partner that will make us happy.
So let’s go back to what we mentioned earlier: the key to our affective happiness lies in practice, discipline, patience and perseverance.
Only with the practice and with the action of our conscious effort of harmonization and internal strengthening will we be able to walk in the direction of affective happiness. And only with patience and perseverance will we be able to maintain practice and discipline over time.
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